I'm Not There

I'm Not There
Starring Cate Blancett, Ben Whishaw, Heath Ledger, Christian Bale, Richard Gere, Marcus Carl Franklin, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Michelle Williams, and Bruce Greenwood

If anything can push itself closer to a masterpiece than what "I'm Not There" does, it's trying too hard. Through the eyes of director and writer Todd Haynes, we are given a collage of Bob Dylan, though he's never there (pun). With five, six or seven different interpretations of Dylan's life through five and up to seven fictionally true life characters, a near masterpiece - and the most original movie I have seen in years - forms.

There is Woody Guthrie, the lone wanderer, played masterfully by the young Marcus Carl Franklin. The casting is perfect for Woody, a version of Dylan. He is naive, adventurous, and running from or to something. Franklin's youth carries the character from place to place. Then we have Heath Ledger's Robbie Clark. This Dylan is washed-up and very persuasive in character. Love to anguish, Clark falls for Charlotte Gainsbourg's artsy Claire, and in the midst of the 60s, we see the evolution of couple. Probably my least favorite Dylan, Christian Bale is the epitome of folk music. He lives it. He is it. But Bale's character, Jack Rollins has the easy road compared to the other Dylans. (Bale also plays Pastor John, which may be the sixth Dylan). The final two definite Dylans are the most spectacular. Ben Whishaw's Arthur Rimbaud, outlaw, jailed up, delivers a picturesque interview monologues that trail throughout the film.

And finally, Cate. Cate Blanchett, in her most terrifically jaw-dropping role, is "I'm Not There." Her Dylan named Jude Quinn is the rock of Haynes film, and he knows it. She embodies Dylan more than any of the men playing him. She is the chameleon. She is perfect. She is, and I say this with all my knowledge of Hollywood, the best actress of our generation. Hand her the effing Oscar now.

Oh, yes - what about that seventh Dylan? Well, Richard Gere has a fun role near the end of the movie, playing Billy the Kid. Though he does cross paths with Franklin's Woody-Dylan, one may list Billy the Kid as a mirrored Dylan. I do. His scenes are bizarre and imaginative, giving us an alter-reality and something to ponder.

Todd Haynes delivered one of the best films of 2007, and one that really needs to be watched 50 times to grasp everything. I honestly can't wait to see it again.

Grade: A

I Am Legend

I Am Legend
Starring Will Smith & Abby the Dog

In a futuristic world that contains threads of "28 Days Later" and "Cast Away," this modern day version of the 50s novel commands an audience needy of action, love, humor, and Will Smith. For an hour and forty minutes, captivation takes control of the theatre, and one of the better end-of-the-world films comes to life. Of course, it has its kinks.

Will Smith is Robert Neville, assumably the last man on earth - well, at least on the isle of New York City. He and his trusty dog, Sam, hunt for wild deer during the day, watch taped news from years ago, listen to Bob Marley, and sleep. Except the sleeping part is more difficult - there are creatures about. Neville studies the humans and animals that were affected by a virus, but he never caught it. They are dangerous, hungry, and never enter the light.

As we enter his Tom Hanks circa "Cast Away" life, flashbacks are given as information about what happened before everyone died or became infected. His wife and daughter are now gone. It's just Neville and Sam.

The suspense of "I Am Legend" arises from a well known world that is so distant and strange. Times Square looks the same but doesn't. It's wild, relentless, deadly. Well, I guess nothing has really changed. Also, the fact that some of the creatures seem to be evolving runs the risk of never being safe. However, the movie takes a turn from being a good old Smith and Sam, lost, unavailing kind of adventure to one of hope. This is a good move for what else can you do, I guess? But it also lessens the tension in a way, knowing that someone else has been out there. Oh well. The final decision of Robert Neville is one to be highly questioned, but the movie before the last 20 minutes was great fun.

Grade: B

No Country for Old Men

No Country for Old Men
Starring Javier Bardem, Josh Brolin, Tommy Lee Jones, Kelly MacDonald, and Woody Harrelson

Precise, pestilent and perfect. "No Country for Old Men" lures its watcher in close and bites him from behind. In the year's masterpiece to top, the Coen brothers adeptly create a beautiful, shocking film full of breathtaking cinematography, quick dialogue, characters that are both paramount and futile, and thrills that go beyond the genre of a thriller.

Set in 1980 Texas, we follow three braided storylines: Llewellyn Moss (Josh Brolin) and his wife Carla Jean (Kelly MacDonald), Sheriff Ed Tom Bell (Tommy Lee Jones), and Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem). The Moss' life revolves around getting past the next bill, but when Llewellyn comes across a drug-gang battlefield, he also falls upon a case of two million dollars - it's actually the same case and amount as the money case in "Fargo," the Coen Brothers previous work of perfection. Sheriff Bell is after the psychopathic lunatic Chigurh, who, on occasion, flips a coin to determine whether you're going to die or not.

Every second of this movie is beyond expectation, and every decision of film-making is beyond predictability. Jones adds to his 2007 repertoire ("In the Valley of Elah") with another well-defined performance. The role of Carla Jean is any understated actresses dream of playing, and MacDonald quietly delivers an unbelievable display of female rigidity, particularly her final scene which is beyond perfection and could earn her many nominations for supporting actress. Brolin commits to the performance of his lifetime. He and his character are unstoppably determined and risky, but the buzz and praise has to go to Bardem. He is so eerily calm as the psychotic mass murderer that chills run down your spine every time he graces the screen. There are scenes so grueling and terrifying that your heart begins to race while his is strangely in tune. He is fantastic and will win the Oscar.

Though there are still a handful of movies to see this year, "No Country for Old Men" tops the list so far. It's an instant classic and an instant favorite.

Grade: A+

The Golden Compass

The Golden Compass

Starring Dakota Blue Richards, Nicole Kidman, Daniel Craig, Eva Green, & Freddie Highmore

What you see is what you get. This cliche can be used perfectly for this year's beginning epic trilogy "His Dark Matters: The Golden Compass," for the film's trailer looks as though it will be a lesser "Chronicles of Narnia," but with a PG-13 rating, it will try to be "Lord of the Rings." It is neither.

The film, about a girl who is given a truth-telling golden compass, lacks depth and falls into the pitfalls of so many fantasy stories; its heart lost in its fantastical world. "The Golden Compass" falls short on character, trying to add so much detail without giving background knowledge. The story itself is fun, but there's no feeling at all.

However, there are some great scenes. Dakota Blue Richards, the Aussie lead, is disastrously good (strange, I know), where Nicole Kidman is elegant, regal, and evil as Mrs. Coulter. Her character is by far a favorite and Kidman pulls her out of every character downfall that all the others are trapped in. There's been talk about Oscar for Kidman, but I highly doubt this - she was just fun to watch. Also, the daemons are a great twist of fantasy, and are spectacular to watch when their human is killed. They just poof into a pile of dust!

Being that there are two more installments of the trilogy, we may see this series developing more, but for an introductory film, "The Golden Compass" did not point in the right direction.

Grade: C+

2008 Golden Globe Nominee Predictions (The Movies)

Here are my predictions for the 2008 Golden Globe Nominations announced this Thursday, December 13th (probable front-runners are in bold and italics):

Best Motion Picture - Drama

• Atonement
• No Country for Old Men
• There Will Be Blood
• American Gangster
• Michael Clayton

Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

• Juno
• Sweeney Todd
• Charlie Wilson's War (if it's considered a comedy???)
• The Savages
• Waitress

Best Actor - Drama

• Daniel Day-Lewis - There Will Be Blood
• Tommy Lee Jones - In the Valley of Elah
• James MacAvoy - Atonement
• George Clooney - Michael Clayton
• Denzel Washington - American Gangster

Best Actor - Musical or Comedy

• Johnny Depp - Sweeney Todd
• Tom Hanks - Charlie Wilson's War (where does this belong???)
• Philip Seymour Hoffan - The Savages
• Ryan Gosling - Lars and the Real Girl
• Jack Nicholson - The Bucket List

Best Actress - Drama

• Julie Christie - Away from Her
• Keira Knightley - Atonement
• Cate Blanchett - Elizabeth: The Golden Age
• Angelina Jolie - A Mighty Heart
• Jodie Foster - The Brave One

Best Actress - Musical or Comedy

• Ellen Page - Juno
• Amy Adams - Enchanted
• Marion Colltilard - La Vie en Rose
• Laura Linney - The Savages
• Keri Russell - Waitress

Best Supporting Actor - Drama, Musical or Comedy

• Javier Bardem - No Country for Old Men
• Hal Holbrook - Into the Wild
• Tom Wilkinson - Michael Clayton
• Philip Seymour Hoffman - Charlie Wilson's War
• Casey Affleck - The Assassination of Jesse James

Best Supporting Actress - Drama, Musical or Comedy

• Cate Blanchett - I'm Not There
• Saoirse Ronan - Atonement
• Amy Ryan - Gone Baby Gone
• Tilda Swinton - Michael Clayton
• Jennifer Jason Leigh - Margot at the Wedding

Enchanted

Enchanted

Starring Amy Adams, Patrick Dempsey, James Marsden, Idina Menzel & Susan Surandon

This is what Disney is all about: an over the top, fun, well-conceived fairy tale, inching its way into the satire genre. "Enchanted" brings together the worlds of fantasy and reality, digging back to it's old school roots of artistry (similar to the 2-D animation of "The Little Mermaid," "Tarzan," and "Mulan"), creating a great, entertaining family blockbuster.

Beginning with the 2-D animated world, Giselle (Amy Adams), a singing/frolicking/caller of wild animals kind of maiden, wishes to receive "a true love's kiss," particularly from some far-away galloping prince, and of course, he has to be charming. With a troll catastrophe, Prince Edward (voiced by and later played by James Marsden) rescuing Giselle on his steed, and a tomorrow-true-love wedding, Giselle is leading the life she wants. However, when the royally evil Queen Narissa (Susan Surandon) plans to rid the kingdom of the soon-to-be royal Giselle, the young maiden's future life is in jeopardy.

Thrown into a well of mystery, the real life Giselle is engulfed by a world of gigantic buildings, loud vehicles emitting pollution, small people who aren't related to Dopey or Grumpy, and a billboard castle that won't let anyone in. Giselle, in all her trusting and optimistic ways, is in our world. New York City to be exact. Luckily, however, the incredibly pessimistic Robert (Patrick Murphy), a well-to-do lawyer, and his motherless daughter find Giselle. With a good heart and his daughter's yearning for princesses - even if Giselle is assumed to be some nutcase - the family of two take the lost girl in.

In front of a few overly cliche scenes and a horribly digitalized dragon, "Enchanted" attaches itself on the children and the adults alike, especially the immensely intricate acting of Amy Adams. Her Giselle is naive, adorable, lovable, and somewhat neurotic. She also creates princess-like dresses out of any fabric at hand in a single morning. Giselle forms immediate personal bonds with any living being she encounters, striking up a musical number in Central Park, a group of city rats, roaches, and pigeons to do her cleaning up, and a separating couple to be once again happily in love.

I can see this role being passed on by many actresses. Adams picked it up, and now, from a few Oscar Predictions websites, she's being pulled into the top five to be nominated for Best Actress. This is because Adams brings such an enchanting feeling to the role, inviting us in, and taking up her journey from callow maiden to a modern day woman. Adams' Giselle is one of the best performances of the year.

Yet, she's not the only cast member that gets a good word. Her fantasy world fiance, Prince Edward, has just as much heart and primitiveness as she does. Marsden allows his character to never be consumed by the city insanity. He believes that a bus is a dragon, the people are peasants, and this is just another world to conquer. His drive is to one, and one only: to find Giselle. Though he does discover some truths about the world he entered, he never does sway from his own kingdom.

With all the great roles and actors to play them, a great plot, and numerous satirical odes to past fairy tales, "Enchanted" was the most enjoyable movie of the season, and Adams shines so bright - maybe all the way to a shining Oscar.

Grade: B+

The Mist

The Mist
Starring Thomas Jane, Marcia Gay Harden, Laurie Holden, Alexa Davalos & Toby Jones

"The Mist," a collaborative film based on a Stephen King short story, follows the story of one small town supermarket-goers who find themselves trapped behind cartons of milk, cash registers, and buy-one-get-one-free sales when a mysterious mist comes their way. It's not just any old fog; this is something supernatural - a killer. But what does this mist hold? As the always entertaining Marcia Gay Harden, who single-handedly holds this movie up, says, "It's death."

Of course, when a story holds a dangerous secret, like what is inside the mist - oh, don't say "fog"; the actors never do - an audience creates its own assumptions about what is killing the people of this small town Maine (of course, a King detail). Aliens? Demons? Vampires? Ghosts? Who knows! I would have loved to see nothing in the mist - not that nothing was killing the people but that there was no CGI. This could have been a great ode to old time thrillers if we didn't see the strange looking 3-D monsters. They weren't even scary. It was kind of like "Jurassic Park" meets "Jumanji."

Led by Thomas Jane, half the cast flops, while the other half pull their weight and then some. Harden is phenomenal as the Old Testament-preaching, psychopathic Mrs. Carmody who rallies against Jane's people and tries to stop everyone from leaving the supermarket. She also goes on a mission of God to find a sacrifice. This leads to bloodshed. "Infamous'" Toby Jones is very likable as is "Feast of Love's" Alexa Davalos. Other than those three, no one really shines, and Jane doesn't have a good scene until the end.

The most fascinating parts of "The Mist" were it's character struggles and debacles. Harden plays such a powerfully horrible woman that the audience cheered when she got her share of karma. Also, the last five minutes are incredibly powerful and irrevocable, allowing "The Mist" to not be lost from our memories.

Harden is a star. Jane is lackluster. And the film is fun to watch.

Grade: C+

Movies of the Fall

1. 3:10 to Yuma

Though westerns aren't usually my forte, this gang-chasing manhunt is full of explosive, tense action, great actors (Russell Crowe, Christian Bale & Ben Foster), and experienced filming. It was simply an enjoyable film.

Grade: B


2. Eastern Promises

David Cronenberg, as he did in "A History of Violence," directs a blood-thirsty thriller with intricate, personal characters. Naomi Watts is our protagonist, but the light really shines on Viggo Mortensen's Oscar-worthy performance as Nikolai, the tattooed Russian car driver working his way up the mob

Grade: B+

3. The Brave One

I loved this movie in the beginning where we meet a happy Jodie Foster with her boyfriend who is beaten to death in a New York City park; I loved watching Foster's character survive the attack and begin to seek out revenge of not only her boyfriend but also any other criminals who cross her pissed-off-path; but the movie fell very short with Terrence Howard's role as the suspicious cop and his decisions at the end of this film.

Grade: B-


4. In the Valley of Elah

Every memorable, breath-taking movie needs great cinematography. This movie has it. It also contains a career-boosting role for Tommy Lee Jones as Hank, a father slash career officer seeking answers to his military son's disappearance, and Susan Surandon as the tormented and house-stationed mother. Paul Haggis touches this movie through and through with his directorial and writerly expertise, but the movie runs a bit too long without enough wind.

Grade: A-


5. Feast of Love

Mixing sex, lust, love, comedy and tragedy, this Shakespearean story has heart and wit without being too lovey-dovey. It is raw in it's vision of love and mostly real. However, no performances stick out from the crowd - everyone is good but no one is great - and there's just something about how many women Greg Kinnear's character naively falls for that is bothersome for his timid character.

Grade: B


6. Michael Clayton

With Oscar-thriving roles played by George Clooney, Tilda Swinton & Tom Wilkinson, this semi-psychological, law thriller is beautifully made, craftily conceived, and sparks much excitement, but the plot seemed to wrap itself and became predictably automatic. It was bittersweet, shocking yet habitual.

Grade: B

7. Into the Wild

Finally, a movie that inspires. Very few films hold this in their hearts. Too many strive for it, but don't quite hit home. Sean Penn's directorial debut was a driven, intellectual, funny, tragic story about a young man who wanted to be like his peers: Thoreau, Pasternak, and Kerouac to name a few. It's a fresh, crisp piece of cinematic art and is by far 2007's best movie so far.

Grade: A+

8. Across the Universe

Though "Across the Universe" has the best trailer ever, I wish I would've stuck to watching it over and over again. Julie Taymor's over-the-top Beatlesmania musical on dope jumps far over the bar of the unusual, the mixed-up and the contorted. With unnecessary characters, one of the weakest plots, and a love that is sure to last a lifetime (or at least until the 60s are over), Taymor fails to deliver, but her touch is just too original to hate. She gets props for trying, and trying with flair.

Grade: C

9. Saw IV

Basically, in short, it was a horrible idea to go past three "Saw's." I loved the third installment, but this one was fun to watch, but overlapped itself and all of the other films, making it hard for Einstein to wrap his mind around - even before his head got smashed to bits by two giant blocks of ice!

Grade: D+

10. Hotel Chevalier/The Darjeeling Limited

There's something about Wes Anderson. His style is so low key. "The Darjeeling Limited" follows three brothers (Owen Wilson, Adrien Brody, and Jason Schwartzman) in search of finding themselves on a trip through India. The film was pleasantly funny, sad, and original. It wasn't the best of the best, but there isn't much to criticize. A great time in the theater - plus Natalie Portman's in both the short film & the feature!

Grade: A

11. Beowulf

Though some of the sequences and dialogue are so awkward (especially every line Robin Wright Penn and John Malkovich delivers), director Robert Zemeckis presents an action-filled adventure that's both visually stunning and has a level of sensuality - probably brought by the serpentine Angelina Jolie as Grendel's hot mommy. I would have loved to see it in an IMAX, though.

Grade: B

12. Lions for Lambs

Here's a film that has the idea, has the dialogue, and the themes needed for a cinematic political debate, but doesn't have enough action. Of course it's lined with great actors (Meryl Streep, Robert Redford, & Tom Cruise - I guess he's "great"), but "Lions for Lambs" feels more like a play than a movie. The scenes between Cruise & Streep/Redford & Andrew Garfield are great and meaningful and fun to listen to, but can be done with our eyes closed with the same effect. Nothing visual happens. Now, Redford (also director) does back this stage-like sequences with war scenes, which are perfectly placed, but the other half of the film falls short of being cinematic. Sorry, Robbie. Try again next time.

Grade: C+

Halloween (2007)

Halloween (2007)

Starring Tyler Mane, Daeg Faerch, Sheri Moon Zombie, Scout Taylor-Compton, Malcolm McDowell & Danielle Harris

Seeing the previews to Rob Zombie's remake of 1978's horror classic "Halloween" (originally directed by John Carpenter), it was difficult to tell if Zombie's version, bearing the same title, would analyze the past of the freakish murder Michael Myers, or if it was indeed a remake of the original. To my excitement, Zombie's version gives us both, and in doing this, he gives us a double-feature.

The first half of the movie plays out by giving Myers motive, feeling, and personality. To some, this may go against everything the madman stands for: silence, stalking, and mystery. However, the original leaves out motive, something that drives stories and makes for compelling twists and turns - all of which Zombie inserts. The pre-teen version of Myers, played by Daeg Faerch (one of the top creepiest kids ever), has a ton of problems. His dad's a bastard, his mom's (Sheri Moon Zombie) a stripper, his older sister doesn't give a damn, and he's constantly tantalized by school bullies. Apart from his slaughtering helpless animals and other demonic issues, Myers finds safety in his baby sister, Boo. (A possible allusion to Harper Lee's "To Kill a Mockingbird"). Evil lets loose on Halloween and kiddo Myers lets that butcher knife fly. He kills the bully, his dad, his older sister (who is reported to have been stabbed 17 times, the same number of times Tom Robinson was shot in "Mockingbird"), and her boyfriend. After being put into a mental institution and killing a nurse with a fork, Myer's mommy kills herself and the kid never talks again.

The pre-Halloween story lasts for near half of the movie and makes the film more about Michael Myers than about the original's heroine, Laurie Strode. When Myers breaks out of the asylum, and after killing his janitor buddy who lovingly calls the brute "Mickey," we enter the original 1978 plot - except there's a twist... and motive. Myers isn't just killing people for no reason at all - which, I admit, takes away from the original's unknowing terror - but he's out for someone in particular. He's kid sister, Boo. And he finds her alright. Zombie takes a leap by creating a subplot of Laurie Strode, played by spunky Scout Taylor-Compton ("Mockingbird" narrator!), as the teen version of Boo. After the bloodbath at the Myer's house, Baby Boo was put up for adoption and taking in by the Strodes.

Michael has a motive. He wants his baby sister back. But with an Oedipal twist and an intense climax that parallels and swerves from the original's "house-to-house" case scenes, Laurie doesn't understand that Mickey just wants to be loved. So he tries to kill her as well.

Zombie shows what a true mastermind can do to a perfectly classic film. He makes it his own, and in doing so, he makes it a great, fun, terrifying gore-fest. He even creates an interesting symbolic meaning and history to Myers' infamous mask-wearing. I just don't get why the hell it wasn't released ON Halloween!

Grade: A-

Movies of the Summer; Top 5 & Worst 5 Flicks of 2007 (So Far)

1. Spiderman 3 - D+
2. Vacancy - C+
3. Shrek the Third - C+
4. 28 Weeks Later - C+
5. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - D
6. Bug - A
7. Knocked Up - A-
8. Mr. Brooks - C
9. Hostel: Part II - D+
10. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer - D+
11. 1408 - D-
12. A Mighty Heart - C
13. Ratatouille - A
14. License to Wed - D+
15. Captivity - F
16. Transformers - B-
17. Hairspray - B+
18. Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix - A-
19. Sicko - B+
20. The Simpsons Movie - B
21. The Bourne Ultimatum - B+
22. Superbad - A
23. Becoming Jane - C


Before Oscar season (a.k.a. Fall) begins, it's important to look at some of the movies that are the best of 2007 as of now, especially since they probably won't be recognized later on.

The BEST

5. Ratatouille

4. Alpha Dog

3. Superbad

2. Grindhouse

1. Bug


THE WORST 5

Bad: "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End"

Really Bad: "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer"

Totally Horrible and BORING: "Zodiac"

Nearly the Worst: "1408"

Insanely the Worst Movie EVER: "Captivity"

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint & Ralph Finnes

In Harry's fifth year, he finds that Hogwarts quickly changes into something he didn't expect. Controlled by the Ministry of Magic, and particularly the newly appointed High Inquisitor, Professor Dolores Umbridge (Imelda Staunton), a sweet-faced, spine-tingling, toad of a woman that if you've read the immensity of the 870 page book, you'd know that just at the sight of her name you want to resort of gauging your eyes out. Harry is also dealing with unhinged dementors, girl trouble, Dumbledore's obvious disregardance of Harry, news of the Order of the Phoenix, and the memory of last year's death of Cedric Diggory and Lord Voldemort's return to the Wizarding world.

"The Order of the Phoenix" as a novel, is long, indulging, tedious, and only worth reading about half of the 870 timeless pages. It is full of nonsensical details that neither heighten the book nor are important to the main plot. It is by far the worst written and edited book of the series. However, that does not go for the film. In the adaptation, director David Yates (who will be returning for "The Half-Blood Prince" in 2008) brings us Harry's world as we have read it in the book. It deals with Harry's mental situation - being tormented by his natural surroundings at school and with the impression Voldemort has left him with, not to mention dreaming exactly as Voldemort sees. With breath-taking scenes and excellent filming, "The Order of the Phoenix" looks and is the best film of the Harry Potter series thus far.

Not only is the directing better in the fifth movie, but the acting is incredibly enjoyable and so much better. Radcliffe, Watson and Grint are finally discovering their characters, as they have shown awkwardness and ignorance in the past - save Grint who's humor has always been fun to watch. "The Order of the Phoenix" also brings an exceptional supporting cast. Actors such as Alan Rickman as Snape, Maggie Smith as McGonagall, Emma Thompson as Trelawney, and of course Ralph Finnes as Lord Voldemort are having loads of fun with their characters, while fresh roles such as Umbridge played superbly by Imelda Staunton, Helena Bonham Carter as Bellatrix Lestrange, and Evanna Lynch as the strange Luna Lovegood add a sense of superiority to the film. But still, after three movies filmed with Michael Gamdon as Dumbledore, the headmaster is still not adapted as he should be. The late Richard Harris, who appeared in "The Sorcerer's Stone" and "The Chamber of Secrets" before passing away, captured Dumbledore's age and power, whereas Gamdon appreciates only his wizarding caliber and brings an unneeded brutality to the headmaster.

Like the fourth film, "The Goblet of Fire," which is an exceptional book but a dimwitted swoosh of a movie, "The Order of the Phoenix" does not stick to the book as close as the first three films - which isn't always a bad thing. "The Goblet of Fire's" demise was its lack of exciting flair. But the current film has so much flair and creativity that it is delightfully overwhelming. Screenwriter Michael Goldenberg, in his first "Potter" movie, fixes what J.K. Rowling failed to do in the book, by simplifying complicated, inessential material, arranging the storyline to a generally easy-to-follow mode, and also threw in a few minor details of dialogue that gave readers a chance to know the back story of the scene without taking away from the movie's main drive. Usually, Rowling has an ability to make the book better than the movie, however, in the case of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix," it is certainly not the case.

Grade - A-

Hairspray

Hairspray

Starring Nikki Blonsky, John Travolta, Michelle Pfeiffer, Amanda Bynes, Zac Efron, Queen Latifah, Brittany Snow & Christopher Walken

When pudgy, happily young Tracy Turnbald (Nikki Blonsky) sings of her yearning to be on the hit TV dance show hosted by Corny Collins (James Marsden), "Hairspray" is on. Set in a 1962 Baltimore where every girl's hair exceeds the height of their boyfriend's head, Turnbald is determined to get on the show, dance her heart out, and win the heart of the boy of her dreams, Link Larkin (Zac Efron). Sidekicked by her corky pal Penny Pingleton (Amanda Bynes), Tracy skips school one day to try out, but quickly rejected by the evil, stepmother-esque Velma Von Tussle, played devilishly by the new and improved Michelle Pfeiffer. What seems to be a story of a silly girl's dreams turns into a battle of moral and racial prejudices. As the "negro night" of the dance show is canceled, Tracy bans with her friends and with the black community to bring justice to the television station.

With such a tremendous all-star cast, "Hairspray" has no trouble at all pulling in loads of expertise; from new-comers like Blonsky, Efron and Bynes to veterans like Pfeiffer, John Travolta as Tracy's dismaying mother, and Christopher Walken as Tracy's loopy dad the film is highly qualified in the field of acting. Of course Queen Latifah as Motormouth Maybelle acted no different than in most of her other roles, but other than that it was a great and fun cast.

"Hairspray" also has a great way of turning the table on what's to be expected in what seems to be a sugar-coated musical. The message of integrating the black dancers with the white is both beautiful and profound. Storyline conflicts and resolutions are subtle and nicely placed, lined with great music that will have your foot tapping against the seat in front of you.

But recollecting the film, it's hard to see it as being a great film. When thinking of "Dreamgirls," though it lacked in many areas of song placement and plot, the cinematography was stunning, refined, and dead-on. In "Hairspray" it was like watching a Disney Channel movie. With poor angles and not a whole lot of movement which collided badly with the lot of dancing around streets and stages, the film looks, feels and acts poorly, though the movie as it is is fun and very entertaining.

Grade: B+

Transformers

Transformers

Starring Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Rachael Taylor & Jon Voight

When seeing trailers for "Underdog," it's clear that some classic cartoons should stay just that. Yet, the way Michael Bay brings "Transformers" to the big screen (and to real life) is both fun to watch and distracting at times.

Shia LaBeouf is Sam Witwicky, a geeky sort of teen who needs enough money to buy a brand new car, and once he does, he gets the chick (Megan Fox). Sam and Mikalea are forced - and as time will tell - destined into a worldly battle against good and evil robots. These robots, of course, can take the form of anything mechanical and transform into their original state at will.

One step away from the original "Transformer's" cartoon is that humans play a large role in the film - more than half of it - whereas the cartoon focused on the doings of the Transformers. This is not a flaw of the movie at all. As the movie directs itself to the Transformers, it is odd and bizarre the way they speak and talk, which is probably humorous to children and idiots, but is equivocal to others. The humans are much more enjoyable, particularly new-comer bombshells Megan Fox and Aussie star Rachael Taylor who plays the very intelligent, sexy, nerdy computer freak. LaBeouf, once again, shows that a blockbuster hit can't take down his love for acting. His charisma resonates off the screen as he brings humor and wit to his character.

Not only is LaBeouf highly entertaining, but the special effects are out of this world. Every detail of the robots transformations can be seen and Bay brings all he knows and failed to do in movies like "The Island" to "Transformers." Honestly, the special effects should be the top contender for special effects for next year's Oscars.

Grade: B-

Captivity

Captivity
Starrnig Elisha Cuthbert & Daniel Gillies

"Captivity" is one of those movies that, when you exit the theatre and begin to make your way to your car, you jump, with an extended arm pointing to the night sky, and scream: "THAT WAS THE BEST MOVIE EVER!"

Jennifer, a wannabe Paris Hilton model, played extraordinarily by Elisha Cuthbert, one of the most talented actresses in Hollywood, carries her little doggy wherever she goes, poses deliciously for various modeling jobs, and has her face on every billboard in America. She's famous and can't get enough of it. Her dog even ventures to the club with her! But at the club, he doggy's owner goes missing. Kidnapped and kept captive in an underground room, Jennifer is forced to mingle with death - and death is a hooded man who makes people die.

Not only is the plot incredibly original and free from all forms of copycat scenes, but the horror is truly spine-chilling. The whole audience screamed in pure fear when the masked kidnapper/murderer ties Cuthbert's character up to a dentist chair, puts a few body parts into a smoothie blender, adds a cup or two of crimson blood, and grinds it to a refreshing gulp of sick, twisted barbarity. Jennifer must drink this bloodshake, which is the most harrowing scene known to the American silver screen.

With unpredictable plot twists that grind your insides to a pulp and a tremendous build-up to a possible heart-attack climax, "Captivity" never lets you go and always makes you want more. And more. If you're into horror flicks, this is surely the movie for you. Oh, and to all those who are into romances, "Captivity" has a wonderfully loving scene in which Jennifer discovers that there is another person held captive. There is a painting of Jennifer in her room above her bed, but she did not know that on the other side of the glass is Daniel Gillies as Gary. Gary scrapes away paint on his side of a window and asks the model, "Who are you?" This is totally believable considering that the paint is on both sides of the glass and that when he scratches from his side, it appears on hers. Amazing. Truly amazing.

Cuthbert's performance is one for the century and is surely the top contender for an Oscar, and the film is not only the scariest and most terrifying movie experience I have ever had in a cinema, but is also probably the best movie I have ever seen in my entire life.

Grade: A+

NOTE: This review was written on opposite day. Everything above is the opposite of what is truly meant. The following is the real review of the film.

Captivity

Starring Elisha Cuthbert and Daniel Gillies

"CAPTIVITY" IS THE WORST MOVIE EVER! WORSE THAN "CATWOMAN" - NO JOKE.

Grade: F

License to Wed

License to Wed
Starring Robin Williams, John Krasinski & Mandy Moore

For the past several years, Robin Williams has been in a downward spiral in his career as a legendary Hollywood actor. In "License to Wed," his career continues to plummet as he makes a bad script about a priest (who is more like a secret agent) that must force the rules of marriage upon the happily engaged couple of Sadie (Mandy Moore) and Ben (John Krasinski). Williams is hardly funny and stoops to an all-time low with the romantic comedy. As for the soon-to-be Mr. and Mrs., Moore and Krasinski excel in their acting and comedy above Williams, but Moore is a bit of a downer. She doesn't bring her character to life but she doesn't kill her either. The gold in "License to Wed" is Krasinski. Known for "The Jim Face" on NBC's hit series "The Office," Krasinski brings his dry humor, wit, charm and ability to make any bad line great to "License to Wed." Though this isn't enough to make it a great film, and the ending completely ruins it... I mean destroys this movie. Once again, another chick flick down the toilet.

Grade: D+

Ratatouille

Ratatouille
Voiced by Patton Oswalt, Lou Romano, Peter O'Toole, Ian Holm & Janeane Garofalo

In "Ratatouille" (pronounced rata-too-ee), we are introduced to Remy, voiced by Patton Oswalt. Remy is a rat. But not just an ordinary, garbage-theiving, will-eat-anything rat. Remy has a keen sense of smell. This may seem useless for a rat, but not for Remy: he detects poisonous food, or at least he is forced to by his rat-proud father. Like a rat, Remy loves food, but not the garbage his pals eat - he wants cuisine and top cheeses and things that make his tiny belly growl with hunger. He can read too. He reads Chef Gusteau's Anyone Can Cook book, and believes that he too can cook... if he were only a little bit bigger. One day, as he's scrounging up some rosemary and freshly plucked mushrooms, Remy sees on an old woman's television that Gusteau, his true chef hero, has died. Then the old woman finds Remy and, with a shotgun, unleashes all of Remy's ratty friends. He is separated from his family and must begin a life alone in the beautiful city of Paris.

As a Pixar animation, "Ratatouille" is exceptionally above anything they have created previously. It is the only Pixar film to bring together the human world with the world of the unknown successfully and passionately. Remy meets a dish dog, Linguini (Lou Romano), who works at Gusteau's restaurant, and they discover a way to make food together - by the rat pulling Linguini's hair, thus controlling every move he makes.

There are two fun love stories in between, with Linguini and the talented and very bossy Chef Colette (Jeneane Garofalo), and with Remy the rat and his love for food. But when Remy and Linguini make an amazing soup by accident, the people of Paris - and the food critics - are all coming back to Gusteau's. With perfect plot complications like this and many others, "Ratatouille" feels like a great PG-13 movie, but plays like it's made for the kids.

But unlike it's predecessors (Toy Story 1 & 2, A Bug's Life, Monster's Inc., Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, and Cars), "Ratatouille" is not the best Pixar for children, for much of its dialogue consist of ingredients and criticism - something that bored most of the kids in the theatre but amazed the adults. Yet, this film is nearly the best Pixar installment yet.

Grade: A

A Mighty Heart

A Mighty Heart

Starring Angelina Jolie, Dan Futterman & Archie Panjabi

With a title such as "A Mighty Heart," one might expect a film with great... heart. However, this is not the case entirely for Michael Winterbottom's wishful biography about the separation of the Pearl family. When Daniel Pearl (Dan Futterman) searches through the streets of Karachi for an interview with one of the most dangerous terrorists on the planet - and this is shown to us near the end of the film with his horrible execution. The movie is about Mariane's struggle and fight to find her Danny and to bring him back home.

Jolie beholds one of her strongest performances, but not one to be over the top about. She has one good scene in which she falls apart in her bedroom over the news of Danny's beheading. This scene is both moving and enticing, but the rest of the movie drags on. Jolie's character runs full circle about five times for about an hour of the film in which her, her friends, and government officials target certain people to be involved in Danny's capture. The plot suffers greatly here, throwing us name after name and never grabbing our attention. Mariane's friend, Asra (Archie Panjabi), is very likable for her intelligence and determination to help her torn friend, but again, it's not enough to make the film entertaining.

The background meaning behind "A Mighty Heart" is somewhat present, but the attempt to bring this to life failed.

Grade: C

1408

1408

Starring John Cusack & Samuel L. Jackson

Talk about a movie that goes from creepy to screwy in a matter of seconds, or should I say within the hour that Mike Enslin (John Cusack) is trapped in room 1408 of the Dolphin Hotel in New York City. Why did Mr. Enslin even think about going into the said room, supposed to be haunted, after Jackson's hotel owner, Gerald Olin, warned him profusely? He's a writer who investigates the scariest places in America. Now he found a room, got the spiel by Mr. Olin, and is persistent on staying in the room over night. Once in the room, he's introduced to its eerie occurrences - the clock is a countdown (one hour), he hears strange noises, he detects blood stains all over the entire room from past deaths (56 to be exact), and a painting moves to its side, all on its own. These ghostly effects take a grip on the viewer, creating a great sense of paranoia. However, that was only the first twenty minutes of the film, and its a long, gruelingly horrible road to the end.

As Enslin starts to deteriorate and go insane inside 1408, Cusack has his moments of good acting. The rest is full of lines that are too predictably cliche that a burst of laughter is well needed. The movie is Enslin in the room. That is it. He talks to his voice recorder too who acts like a character only it doesn't work as one at all. The rest of the cast is unmentionable because they're barely a part of the film; even Jackson can't make this movie cool.

After the twenty minutes of descent paranoia, "1408" evolves into a room of complete mayhem and chaotic, cinematic malfunctions. The room takes Enslin to different periods in his life which we don't really care about, it takes him to a cliche "Wizard of Oz" dream effect that's not a dream at all, so it's a twist on a cliche making it a cliche in a way, and (SPOILER) though everyone that's trapped in 1408 has died in some grotesque way, Enslin survives, of course, and ruins the whole movie - as if it wasn't already a complete and utter mess.

The flick is based on a Stephen King short story, and it should have stayed in pages, not the screen.

Grade: D-

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Staring Jessica Alba, Chris Evans, Ioan Gruffudd & Michael Chiklis

It is quite possible and very probable that "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer" is one of those rare sequels that can be claimed "better than the original." However, to say that this is a good claim is another story.

In the second (and hopefully last) installment, the Fantastic Four team, consisting of Mr. Fantastic (Ioan Gruffudd), the Invisible Woman (Jessica Alba), the Thing (Michael Chiklis) and the Human Torch (Chris Evans), must rid the world of cataclysmal havoc brought by the mysterious Silver Surfer. All Susan (Invisible Woman) wants is to marry Fantastic, but of course, it must come second, for love always is second in the life of a super hero. Here's what the Surfer does: he rides his board at warp speed across the globe, sucking the life out of everything and building huge chasms that reach the earth's core. Later, this big giant blob of cloud called Galactus sucks the planet's life and causes it to blow up. Well, it's no match for the F4, that's for sure. Through gruelling twists (that are totally expected) and intense battles (that a very lackluster), the four mates prevail without needing to call on local Spiderman or the X-Men for help. They had better things to do when the world is ready to end.

The plot wasn't the chief issue of cinematic disaster, however. Once again, as in the original "Fantastic Four," acting becomes a sort of needle in your spine, more like a teacher scraping her nails against the chalk board until she reaches the bottom or discovers that her nails snapped off. Alba is bad, but she's beautiful. She's horrible only because the script is an explosion of Cheez Whiz. Then there's Chiklis who is totally badass in "The Shield" but completely off-queue here. He tries to be humorous, but the joke's on him - and he's stuck in that ridiculous "rock" suit. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costumes of the 80's were way more realistic. Finally, to round up the suckfest of actors, Doctor Doom (Julian McMahon) comes back from the dead - which is an unknown feat to both the Fantastic Four and the audience - and proves that if you look like a Sith Lord, you better freaking talk like one.

There were some good points in this film that bring it slightly above its loser predecessor. Chris Evans, once again, captures and completely enjoys his role as Johnny Storm. Evans is hilarious, egotistical, and a highlight of the film. He's believable 100%. The Silver Surfer, voice by Laurence Fishburne, was a pretty cool asset to the movie, bringing at first an evil-doer and revealing his battle against his lord, Galactus, a.k.a. a giant space cloud.

"Rise of the Silver Surfer" is much better than the first "Fantastic Four," but that's only due to the Surfer and some crazy special effects of the gigantic Galactus cloud in the end.

Grade: D+