1408

1408

Starring John Cusack & Samuel L. Jackson

Talk about a movie that goes from creepy to screwy in a matter of seconds, or should I say within the hour that Mike Enslin (John Cusack) is trapped in room 1408 of the Dolphin Hotel in New York City. Why did Mr. Enslin even think about going into the said room, supposed to be haunted, after Jackson's hotel owner, Gerald Olin, warned him profusely? He's a writer who investigates the scariest places in America. Now he found a room, got the spiel by Mr. Olin, and is persistent on staying in the room over night. Once in the room, he's introduced to its eerie occurrences - the clock is a countdown (one hour), he hears strange noises, he detects blood stains all over the entire room from past deaths (56 to be exact), and a painting moves to its side, all on its own. These ghostly effects take a grip on the viewer, creating a great sense of paranoia. However, that was only the first twenty minutes of the film, and its a long, gruelingly horrible road to the end.

As Enslin starts to deteriorate and go insane inside 1408, Cusack has his moments of good acting. The rest is full of lines that are too predictably cliche that a burst of laughter is well needed. The movie is Enslin in the room. That is it. He talks to his voice recorder too who acts like a character only it doesn't work as one at all. The rest of the cast is unmentionable because they're barely a part of the film; even Jackson can't make this movie cool.

After the twenty minutes of descent paranoia, "1408" evolves into a room of complete mayhem and chaotic, cinematic malfunctions. The room takes Enslin to different periods in his life which we don't really care about, it takes him to a cliche "Wizard of Oz" dream effect that's not a dream at all, so it's a twist on a cliche making it a cliche in a way, and (SPOILER) though everyone that's trapped in 1408 has died in some grotesque way, Enslin survives, of course, and ruins the whole movie - as if it wasn't already a complete and utter mess.

The flick is based on a Stephen King short story, and it should have stayed in pages, not the screen.

Grade: D-

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Staring Jessica Alba, Chris Evans, Ioan Gruffudd & Michael Chiklis

It is quite possible and very probable that "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer" is one of those rare sequels that can be claimed "better than the original." However, to say that this is a good claim is another story.

In the second (and hopefully last) installment, the Fantastic Four team, consisting of Mr. Fantastic (Ioan Gruffudd), the Invisible Woman (Jessica Alba), the Thing (Michael Chiklis) and the Human Torch (Chris Evans), must rid the world of cataclysmal havoc brought by the mysterious Silver Surfer. All Susan (Invisible Woman) wants is to marry Fantastic, but of course, it must come second, for love always is second in the life of a super hero. Here's what the Surfer does: he rides his board at warp speed across the globe, sucking the life out of everything and building huge chasms that reach the earth's core. Later, this big giant blob of cloud called Galactus sucks the planet's life and causes it to blow up. Well, it's no match for the F4, that's for sure. Through gruelling twists (that are totally expected) and intense battles (that a very lackluster), the four mates prevail without needing to call on local Spiderman or the X-Men for help. They had better things to do when the world is ready to end.

The plot wasn't the chief issue of cinematic disaster, however. Once again, as in the original "Fantastic Four," acting becomes a sort of needle in your spine, more like a teacher scraping her nails against the chalk board until she reaches the bottom or discovers that her nails snapped off. Alba is bad, but she's beautiful. She's horrible only because the script is an explosion of Cheez Whiz. Then there's Chiklis who is totally badass in "The Shield" but completely off-queue here. He tries to be humorous, but the joke's on him - and he's stuck in that ridiculous "rock" suit. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costumes of the 80's were way more realistic. Finally, to round up the suckfest of actors, Doctor Doom (Julian McMahon) comes back from the dead - which is an unknown feat to both the Fantastic Four and the audience - and proves that if you look like a Sith Lord, you better freaking talk like one.

There were some good points in this film that bring it slightly above its loser predecessor. Chris Evans, once again, captures and completely enjoys his role as Johnny Storm. Evans is hilarious, egotistical, and a highlight of the film. He's believable 100%. The Silver Surfer, voice by Laurence Fishburne, was a pretty cool asset to the movie, bringing at first an evil-doer and revealing his battle against his lord, Galactus, a.k.a. a giant space cloud.

"Rise of the Silver Surfer" is much better than the first "Fantastic Four," but that's only due to the Surfer and some crazy special effects of the gigantic Galactus cloud in the end.

Grade: D+

Smokin' Aces

Smokin' Aces (DVD)

Staring Jeremy Piven, Alicia Keys, Ryan Reynolds, Ben Affleck, & Taraji Henson

A single playing card - no matter what the suit, no matter what the color, no matter if it's got a joker on it or game rules - is two sided. If it falls, it will land on one of two sides. It will never stand up alone. This is the way "Smokin' Aces" evolves. From a particularly good eared, two-dimensional script, the characters and their situations fall heavily to the ground. With a whole lot of drive, a few original traits, and completely no audience empathy or appreciation, the ensemble, which is all too big to begin with, kicks ass, but we could care less.

However, there is one set of killers out to assassinate Vegas-rich Buddy "Aces" Israel (Jeremy Piven), and that is the female contract killers, Georgia Skye and Sharice Watters, played by singer Alicia Keys and "Hustle & Flow's" Taraji Henson. Keys delivers with on-time attitude and brings life and attractiveness to her character, whereas the other actors just deliver their lines. Henson is the key to Key's prosperity as a reasonable character. The duo are friends, and Sharice cares deeply for Georgia, which brings some humanity to the movie.

What's the conflict? It's simple. Kill Israel. Who are the characters? Well, there's a ton of them, played by Ben Affleck, Ryan Reynolds, Andy Garcia, Ray Liota, Common, and the list goes on. What happens? A lot and not all at the same time. The idea was present but the delivery was all wrong. Reynolds, Garcia and Liota are at a career low. Their lines are fast and important which is a terrible mix, and they're not having much fun - Garcia especially. He is a lame duck in the film.

"Smokin' Aces" is clearly not a movie for a sappy friendship to bud either - it's a guy's movie, a shoot-you-in-the-face, blood-thirsty, action extravaganza. Or it should have been. For like the card trying to stand, it falls. Director and screenwriter, Joe Carnahan, presents us with a situation, but instead of showing it to us, he tells us. Multiple characters talking so rapidly about something that should be paid attention to by the audience, but can't, allows our affliction (or what was left of it) to diminish.


Where's the action? Well, to tell you the truth, with all of the plot confusion, when the action occurs, it's free of conflict, which is very, very bad. Action without conflict in an action movie is like kicking yourself in the groin. Some of the scenes are unexpected and good, like when "Lost's" Matthew Fox interrogates another "Lost" actor, Nestor Carbonell, about his credibility of being a true FBI agent. Of course Carbonell's character, Pasquale Acosta who bit off the the skin on his fingers so he can't be traced, is not an FBI agent. This scene is fun to watch and has great dialogue, and an end that has great collision. Another character that's fun to watch is Jason Bateman's Rip Reed who is erratic and completely hilarious.

There is a build up, too, in "Smokin' Aces," which is the death of Israel. If he does not die, this would not be a movie. Well, it would but I would hate it even more than I do now. We watch "Smokin' Aces" not for the characters, not for the dialogue, not for the confusing plot, but for the climax, when Israel comes face to face with fate. We'll just leave it at this: it's a huge let down.

However, what saves this movie from being one of the worst films ever, is that it pulls off one of my favorite tricks in cinema, something successfully pulled off in "The Village" and "Children of Men," the incredibly shocking and unpredictable killing of a main star within the first half-hour. "Smokin' Aces" does this and is effective in the act, gaining some respect.

Grade: D

A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints

A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints (DVD)
Starring Roberty Downey Jr., Shia LaBeouf, Chazz Palminterri, Rosario Dawson, & Channing Tatum

This is one of those goldmines in modern cinema. "A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints," written, directed, and based on the book by Dito Montiel, tells the true-life story of life in Queens during an era of violence, racial prejudices, and hopeful teens. Dito's story is illustrated through the memories kept by his older self (Robert Downey Jr.) of his once innocent and naive teenage self (Shia LaBeouf). Dito, friends with the rumbling brawler Antonio, impeccably played by rising star Channing Tatum, is bombarded with mixed emotions and situations from every level of the playing field. Jealously of Antonio sets in when Dito's father, Monty (Chazz Palminteri), becomes quickly fond of the street hooligan. Love ignites between Dito and Laurie, a local girl played by Melanie Diaz in the past and Rosario Dawson in the present, who wants more than just puppy love and is led on by Dito's promises. A Puerto Rican gangster hits Queens as he graffittis the streets and terrorizes Dito and Antonio.

Dito's only mode of survival is escaping Queens. Hope finds its way into his life through a Scotish kid named Mike (Martin Compsten) who helps Dito find a job walking dogs and brings dreams of setting off for California. Dito is determined, but single-minded Monty thinks differently.

"Recognizing Your Saints" is explosively heartfelt, especially in the scenes between LaBeouf, Palmenterri and Tatum. This trio of talent grasps your insides and twists them around. Their portrayal of their characters is admirable and saddening that movies like this don't come around often. Downey Jr. and Palmenteri also have great on-screen caliber, when the older Dito comes back to Queens to take his sick and bullheaded dad to the hospital.

With wonderful performances for its supporting cast including Dawson, Diaz, Dianne Wiest, Anthony DeSando, and a long list of unknown talents, "A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints," a paramount coming-of-age story, is not only one of the best movies of 2006, but one of the best I've ever seen.

Grade: A

Hostel: Part II

Hostel: Part II

Starring Lauren German & Roger Bart

When a film has a concept where a bunch of college kids looking for a good time go to Europe, find a bunch of hot girls, follow them wherever they go, then get caught up in a place that sells their bodies to paying killers, it's kind of hard to make a sequel out of that. However, director Eli Roth proves to do so in "Hostel: Part II." The question is: was it a successful make? Well, the answer is mixed.

In the sequel, we follow a trio of young American girls: the unemotional, rich Beth (Lauren German), the sexy, usually drunk Whitney (Bijou Phillips) and Lorna (Heather Matarazzo), a not-so-pretty and very weird gal. These girls came for the same reasons as the guys in the previous "Hostel" installment. With a hot babe to set them up (Vera Jordanova), they're ready to be caught in a no holds barred situation at the rundown factory where wealthy men (and in Lorna's case, women) come to carve them up.

However, "Part II" throws a curve ball to make things a bit more interesting. We meet Todd (Richard Burgi), a ripped guy who means business and is a murdering virgin, as is his friend Stuart (Roger Bart) who is indecisive about their present situation. Todd won a bid to have two girls (Beth and Whitney) to do what they please, but the contract is final. First, the tattoos, then they must pick their weaponry, and finally, kill.

This element of knowing the killers was interesting to watch but dragged the film into a pit where the audience is on top instead of wondering who's behind the next corner. We had a bird's eye view of every scene, piece by piece. The scares were cheap, not well-deserved. The suspense and horror that uplifted the first film was subdued and nearly non-existent in "Part II."

The acting in "Hostel: Part II" was mediocre, nothing to praise about. But there was Mr. Bart who showed us his inner battle whether to go through with the killing or not. I didn't believe him for a second. It was clear that he was acting and not living the role. It should have been the most interesting, grueling and wicked of characters, but with Bart's lack of the right emotion, he fell in that previously stated pit as well. His character didn't make sense. Who was his wife and why did he want to kill someone who looked like her? And why the sudden change of heart in the torture chamber? Looks like the script was flawed or Mr. Roth edited the wrong scene.

"Hostel: Part II" wasn't the worst, but it was far from the best. Eli Roth disappoints with less plot, less horror, and a helluva lot less gore than the first.

Grade: D+

Mini Movie Reviews (DVDs)

Volver
Starring Penelope Cruz & Carmen Maura

This very funny, very touching film by Pedro Almodovar touches base with the traditional Hispanic "magical" movie, but evolves into a superb tale of mothers and the secrets they have. Penelope Cruz, in her Oscar-nominated role, is wonderful as the seductive, broken Raimunda and Carmen Maura brings a brilliant touch of subtle, dark comedy.

Grade: B+


Running With Scissors
Starring Annette Benning, Joseph Cross, & Evan Rachel Wood

With a great cast including Benning, Wood, Alec Baldwin, and Gweneth Paltrow, this movie should have been a nicely done, comical, coming-of-age story. Instead it becomes redundant and revolves in endless circles around Benning's character, Deirdre, and her tail of a son, Augusten. Read the book - it's way better.

Grade: C+


The Last King of Scotland
Starring Forrest Whitaker & James McAvoy

Whitaker deservedly takes home the Oscar (and practically every other award last season) for his picture-perfect interpretation of the blood-monger Idi Amin Dada. Through the eyes of Nicholas Garrigan (McAvoy), we see Amin for the charismatic entertainer he seems to be and the dangerous murderer he really is.

Grade: A-


Little Children
Starring Kate Winslet, Patrick Wilson & Jennifer Connelly

Winslet gains another Academy nod for her role as Sarah, the not-so-hot but extremely vulnerable mom who falls for her "Prom King" poolside friend, Brad. Based on the novel by Tom Perrotta, the film fails to dig into the characters' minds, but with beautiful cinematography and a extremely good acting - especially Winslet and Jackie Earle Haley as the neighborhood pedophile - "Little Children" deems worthy of watching.

Grade: B+


Sherrybaby
Starring Maggie Gyllenhaal

In this glued-to-your-seat, character driven film about Sherry Swanson (Gyllenhaal), you are exposed to the life of a former drug addict, a trying mother, and a woman who gets what she wants by lifting up her shirt. It is truly a one man (well, woman) show, which makes it kind of two dimensional, but well worth the canvas.

Grade: B+


Ocean's Twelve
Starring George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Catherine Zeta-Jones, & a whole lot of other people

It was bad, real bad. But it was funny. It was ridiculous. But it was well-delivered. It had flaws. But it was entertaining. However, with the Julia Roberts spoof and a plot that is ambagious and stupid, "Ocean's Twelve" falls very short of it's previous number.

Grade: D+


Freedom Writers
Starring Hilary Swank, Imelda Staunton & April L. Hernandez

In this inspiring, true life movie about English teacher, Erin Gruell, who puts her career on the line for her urban, gang-induced 9th graders, we see 1. what it means to love your job 2. why teachers are one of the most important people in our society and 3. that we teachers should be paid a damn lot more mulah.

Grade: B+


Notes on a Scandal
Starring Judi Dench & Cate Blanchett

Both Dench and Blanchett are nominated for the Oscar in this Lifetime-esque opera about two teachers who befriend each other, learn each others secrets, and fall into the pits of their flaws. Dench is chillingly wicked as Barbara Covett and Blanchett is superb as the naive vixen Sheba Hart.

Grade: B+


The Pink Panther
Starring Steve Martin, Beyonce Knowles & Kevin Kline

Martin is very funny as the slapstick, extremely French detective, while Knowles proves once again to be a horrible actress and Kline is just kind of there. The movie is terrible, but the humor is great, particularly the "hamburger" scene.

Grade: C-

Mr. Brooks

Mr. Brooks

Starring Kevin Costner, Demi Moore, Dane Cook & William Hurt

"Mr. Brooks" sends us in many different directions, both good and bad, both needed and excessive, both explained and confused. Directed by Bruce A. Evans, a director with a short resume, the movie is fun to watch, and at times (though some won't admit it), it's pleasing for us the people die. It's about a very important, very wealthy business man, Earl Brooks, played devilishly by Kevin Costner, who has a seductive tendency to murder random men and women, according to his initial interest in them and according to his inner Mr. Hyde, his libido named Marshall (William Hurt). Marshall appears to Brooks whenever a killing tendency arrives, whether it's driving his car or eating ice-cream at a restaurant. He is also the mastermind of the murders that Brooks commits. William Hurt is impressively cool as Marshall, having a blast with the character's urges towards Brooks, and the fact that no one can see him.

In comes the conflict. Conflict #1, played by Dane Cook (who's successful as a not-so-comedic role), is Mr. Smith, the man who catches Brooks in the act, but doesn't turn it over to the police. Instead he wishes to go with Brooks to murder. Conflict #2, played by Demi Moore, is Detective Tracy Atwood, a tremendously rich cop who has been tracking down the Thumbprint Killer (Brooks) for almost her whole career. When Brooks makes a comeback to killing, after a two year "break," Atwood is desperate to track him down and Smith is desperate to kill.

The storyline of "Mr. Brooks" is actually a very well developed script. It has a dark humor to it, only brought out through Hurt's sex/blood-driven Marshall, and a deep sense of forgiveness for Brooks. Each character has his or her subplots, that fit - for the most part - quite well with the main story. For example, Detective Atwood is going through a horrible divorce where the sleazeball ex-husband is asking for more and more money. Not only is this fun to watch, but later, it cuts nicely into Brooks' and Smith's stratagem. However, the underplot of the Hangman (a killer who just escaped from jail), proves a little excessive with the already packed script, though it does have a loud bullet brawl near the end.

Though the most intriguing story is that of Brooks and his family. His wife Emma (Marg Helgenberger) is loving, supportive, and completely unawares of what Brooks does, either because she's a senseless housewife or Brooks covers up his tracks (which he does). Then there's their college-bound daughter, Jane (Danielle Panabaker), who comes home after dropping out of college. Hmm... wonder why? So does Earl and Emma. First, she couldn't handle it. Then, she's pregnant. Finally, two detectives show up at the house to ask Jane questions about a murder at the university. Marshall and Brooks believe she's guilty; that she has the same addiction to killing as they do, well, as he does.

So why is this movie not top notch? Primarily, it was the end that ruined it for me. Both cliche and predictable, I wanted to scream obscenities for giving us a bunch of bologna to chew on the way home. Also, Demi Moore was a dead weight when it came to giving her character that extra umph she needed. Her scenes became dull and long-winded because it seemed like she didn't give a damn. She didn't even flinch when she just flew out of a speeding van, landed on another car, and was getting serious stitches in her head! And where was the bandage? And why was she swimming? That was a ridiculous mistake.

"Mr. Brooks" was a feel-good, humorous thriller that pleased and annoyed all that the same time. And as the old lady who walked out with me said, "My God, I feel awful. I feel like I committed all the murders!"

Grade: C

Knocked Up

Knocked Up
Starring Katherine Heigl and Seth Rogen

In a summer full of blockbuster trilogies, "Knocked Up," from director Judd Apatow ("Talladega Nights," "40 Year Old Virgin," and "Anchorman"), is the side-slitting, breath-of-fresh-air comedy of the year. The story follows two young twenty-somethings, Allison (Katherine Heigl) and Ben (Seth Rogen). Being presently promoted to host on an E! television show, Allison and her whiny, dirty-mouthed sister Debbie (Leslie Mann) take a trip to an L.A. hot spot to celebrate. There Allison meets Ben, an unshaven, pot-smoking, chubby, unemployed guy who buys her a drink. When Debbie leaves, Allison and Ben hit it off; Allison looking to celebrate and Ben thinking "I've never had sex with a hot girl!" In a so-called calamity of events, Allison becomes pregnant.

The humor in "Knocked Up" comes from both the antipodean relationship between Allison and Ben and their friends and family caught in the background of the 9-month mistake. The typical Hollywood leash wrapped around "Knocked Up" is that their character opposition, both physically and emotionally, causes the two to fall in love, struggle with this thought, and then, of course, fall back into the swing of things. I'm usually a fan of endings that are atypical of Hollywood feel-good flicks, but for "Knocked Up," I fell for it. Because of the realism of the movie, you become so caught up in the characters that you can't help but root for them. And "Knocked Up's" realistic capabilities is what holds the film together, allowing it to stray from the cheese so many romantic comedies find themselves devouring. The dialogue is so raunchy, so ridiculous, and yet, I hear it all the time among people we see in this film. It's funny, not inhumane.

With an uproarious script, you need the right actors to deliver the lines. These guys do it with class and sass. Rogen and Heigl have great chemistry and flair together. Theirs is the story being told, but it wouldn't be possible with a list of supporting roles, especially the hindering marriage of Debbie (Mann) and Pete (Paul Rudd). With two youngsters to care for, this pair establishes a possible futuristic view of what's to become of Ben and Allison: unhappiness and inevitable hostility. Pete needs his space and Debbie needs anger management classes. It's a perfect tool for observation of the audience and the lead roles. Then there's Ben's unruly gang of porn-watching idiots. This clan breaks the tension with riotous comments and sensationally gut-wrenching antics, particularly the bet for Martin (Martin Starr) to grow out his hair while taking minute-by-minute jabs about it. These characters are witty and necessary.

With a brash, ballsy script and actors who know how to deliver a show, "Knocked Up" is the highlight of Judd Apatow's resume and the popcorn hit of the summer.

Grade: A-