Saturday, June 6, 2009

January to June - 6 Months, 1 Sentence

My Bloody Valentine: 3-D

Completely pointless, "My Bloody Valentine" will leave you bloody for bringing your valentine to such a complete suckfest.

Grade: F






Friday the 13th

Some scenes and scare-sequences were actually directed well and I loved how the movie starts 30 minutes into it, but the ending killed it for me alongside the mediocre acting.

Grade: C-





Coraline

Great story, but the animation or whatever its called made me want to puke the same kind of puke "Ren & Stimpy" made me hurl.

Grade: C






Two Lovers

An excellent, dramatic piece of film at a time in need of quality acting - thanks to Phoenix, Paltrow and Shaw.

Grade: B+






Watchmen

Waaaaaaayyy too much information for a movie and waaaaaayyyyy too much Manhattan junk.

Grade: C-






The Last House on the Left

This horror flick puts the evil in people, both psychopaths and vengeful parents, and pushes the boundaries of the word "squeamish".

Grade: B-






I Love You, Man

When this comes out on DVD, have a mandate with your guy friend by watching the Rudd/Segel chemistry that matches the compatibility of DiCaprio/Winslet; and if you're a chick, let your guy have his mandate, and you can probably join in too.

Grade: B





Knowing

I hate Nicholas Cage and anything he's made since 2002's "Adaptation."

Grade: D+







Observe & Report

Rogen really shouldn't do a movie by himself without a team of highly qualified funny people (a.k.a. James Franco or Leslie Mann) because Anna Faris didn't get enough screen time to hold his weight.

Grade: F





X-Men Origins: Wolverine

How many times can we watch Sabertooth and Wolverine run at each other before having a glorified cat fight?

Grade: D+






Angels & Demons

Better than "DaVinci Code," but there's too much vital information that's left out from the book.

Grade: C+






Drag Me to Hell

Kind of hated it, kind of liked it - it was scary, funny, annoying and sardonically masterful.

Grade: C+

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