June Movies

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Starring Ben Barnes, William Moseley, Anna Poppelwell, Skandar Keynes & Georgie Henley

The second film in C.S. Lewis' children tales brings the Pevensie kids to a Narnia thousands of years before they were the the last time ("The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe"), however the curiosity of Narnia and the wonderment has completely departed from "Prince Caspian." The battles and effects are very similar to "LW&W" but the innocence is gone. Plus, in "LW&W," the protagonist Penvensies were allied with a giant talking lion who kicked ass and the villain was Tilda Swinton as an icy wintry witch - much better than a Spanish-esque prince against his kingdom. It was like a horrible remake of "Braveheart" with a bunch of goats, mice, and cheetahs in the background. Another down fall for "Prince Caspian" is that although the title character was charming and well-played, the Penvensie's grew out of their acting abilities - the years show their wrinkles (metaphorical wrinkles of sucky acting). Basically, just watch "LW&W" and pretend "Prince Caspian" never happened. That's what I'm doing.

Grade: D


Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Starring Harrison Ford, Shia LeBeouf, Cate Blanchett & Karen Allen

Stephen Spielberg - with the help of George Lucas - brings Indie back for another adventure, about twenty years later. Does the whip-lashing professor keep up with his old self? For the most part, but he really has to thank Shia LeBeouf's Mutt Williams for cleaning up after him and keeping the action young and not so AARP. Cate Blanchett brings an augustness to her Russian villain and Karen Allen gives "The Crystal Skull" attitude and humor that was missing in "The Temple of Doom" and "The Last Crusade." However, the hope that Spielberg wouldn't get too carried away with special effects went down the drain halfway through the film. Two army jeeps speed through the South American jungle, ramping over sawed trees and other jungle bumps, while Blanchett and LeBeouf have a reasonable sword fight. I don't care who you are, that swordfight should have lasted ten seconds before one of the two fell off the jeep and run over by another speeding automobile. There's also the Tarzan scene, the crazy waterfall conundrum, and in the end, those flying rocks should have hit Indie in the face. Oh well, it was still a lot of fun.

Grade: B


The Strangers
Starring Liv Tyler & Scott Speedman

"The Strangers," giving us the whole "based on true events" spiel before the first scene, uses scare tactics effectively in and out of the theater. The basic plot, a young couple (Tyler and Speedman) come home from a (wedding?) and are unwinding. They seem happy - let's say normal - but when Speedman's James proposes, Liv's Kristen isn't as thrilled like she was in "Armageddon" with her dad singing in the background. If you're looking for romance, you'll find a happy ending here, but if you can't see the love, then all you'll see is blood (actually this movie isn't that bloody). Suddenly there's a knock on the door by creepy Gemma Ward a.k.a. Dollface who then gathers her posse of hooded/masked sickos to terrorize Kristen and James. Why? In the words of Dollface "Because you're alone." Creepy. The careful cinematography is part of the nightmare that the film puts you in, placing Liv in the foreground with the hooded killer dude walking in back of her. She doesn't see him, and then he' gone and so is her cellphone. There are plenty of other great hold-your-breath moments in the film, some cliche but effective, however the last three seconds is what takes the film from a high B to a low one.

Grade: B-


The Happening
Starring Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, Ashlyn Sanchez, Betty Buckley & John Leguizamo

There is something about an M. Night Shyamalan film that has a lavish, Hitchcockian atmosphere surrounding it, and "The Happening" is no different. Don't get me wrong, M. Night is no Alfred, but he pulls from him a lot. In "The Happening," Eliot and Alma are trying to survive a bizarre occurrence... occurring in Northeastern America. (I'm trying not to overuse any form of "happen" in this review.) Eliot, played by Mark Wahlberg, is the unlikely high school science teacher hero who has the best grasp on things within the group of Philadelphia citizens trying to make their way through bumblefuck Pennsylvania without pissing off whatever this thing is. His wife, Alma, eerily cast to Zooey Deschanel and her big blues, has some past scruples but in the end, the drama concludes with their love for each other. I love the idea behind this film and I love the idea of scaring people to recycle, turn off their lights, and walk around instead of emitting poisonous fumes into the environment. However, Shyamalan failed in something he does so well: focus on the characters. For the first 40 minutes or so, we were given shots of some pretty frightening scenes of New Yorkers killing themselves followed by Eliot & Alma mixed with a load of annoying, bad-lined extras. Shyamalan gave his extras more of a time slot than some of his big stars. It didn't feel right. However, as these people end up face down in the grass - in a puddle of blood - things come around for Eliot and Alma and you can either love them or hate them. I find them enjoyable, interesting, and bizarrely normal. Clearly not his best film, but still one to go see.

Grade: C

The Incredible Hulk
Starring Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth & William Hurt

Why Ang Lee decided to ruin his early millennium career with the original "Hulk" in 2002, I will have no idea - especially after his masterpiece "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" - but the new version (I'm still not sure if it's a sequel or what), "The Incredible Hulk," is way more fun to watch, has better action, features a ripped Hulk, contains better actors to fill some of the shoes, but still hits some Hulk pitfalls like the original. The Hulk (Edward Norton) is a brute, neither villain nor hero, so it's very hard for an audience to understand him. I would rather empathize with King Kong. Also, watching two computer-generated Hulks battle it out is fun and all, but it's hard to perceive that either of them have weaknesses, especially after Hulk just jumped out of a helicopter hovering above New York City and survived. He's not allergic to kryptonite, so they just throw in a weakness to show he may die. That's my beef with the Hulk in general. The first act of "The Incredible Hulk" is breathtaking in it's South American aspect and tremendous cinematography and the fact that Edward Norton is Bruce Banner without turning into the Hulk for most of this time. Liv Tyler is pretty good as Betty Ross - nothing to criticize, nothing to reward. And the supporting cast is fine. It's nice to see that the movie did not run over 2 hours, so I can't complain there. All in all, better than the first, but nothing to brag about.

Grade: C

Get Smart
Starring Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, Dwayne Johnson & Alan Arkin

The first 20 minutes of "Get Smart" was beyond smart - or should I say below. Cheap jokes and dead beat character introductions filled the time and the movie wasn't looking too good. Carell is funny, but awkward and I would have never imagined that he can hold a movie as the starring role, and that is sort of true here. I want him to be Brick again. Sad face. Anyway, the film picks up, launching Maxwell Smart (Carell) as an undercover agent teamed with Agent 99 (Anne Hathaway). There are some very funny sections of "Get Smart," including the fat chick tango, the taming of that colossal Russian dude, the Bill Murray in a tree cameo, and whenever Alan Arkin was in a shot. The action in this film collated with the comedy very well and very surprisingly, not to mention some excellent camera angles and twists and turns. I've never seen the TV show, but the movie was very fun for the summertime.

Grade: B-

The Love Guru
Starring Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Vern Troyer and Justin Timberlake

This movie was absolutely terrible. I hated every second except: Justin Timberlake, the aunt from "Family Matters," the Mariska Hargitay jokes and cameo, Justin Timberlake and the fact that Oprah was too good to be in this film. Because she is.

Grade: D-