Movies of the Fall

1. 3:10 to Yuma

Though westerns aren't usually my forte, this gang-chasing manhunt is full of explosive, tense action, great actors (Russell Crowe, Christian Bale & Ben Foster), and experienced filming. It was simply an enjoyable film.

Grade: B


2. Eastern Promises

David Cronenberg, as he did in "A History of Violence," directs a blood-thirsty thriller with intricate, personal characters. Naomi Watts is our protagonist, but the light really shines on Viggo Mortensen's Oscar-worthy performance as Nikolai, the tattooed Russian car driver working his way up the mob

Grade: B+

3. The Brave One

I loved this movie in the beginning where we meet a happy Jodie Foster with her boyfriend who is beaten to death in a New York City park; I loved watching Foster's character survive the attack and begin to seek out revenge of not only her boyfriend but also any other criminals who cross her pissed-off-path; but the movie fell very short with Terrence Howard's role as the suspicious cop and his decisions at the end of this film.

Grade: B-


4. In the Valley of Elah

Every memorable, breath-taking movie needs great cinematography. This movie has it. It also contains a career-boosting role for Tommy Lee Jones as Hank, a father slash career officer seeking answers to his military son's disappearance, and Susan Surandon as the tormented and house-stationed mother. Paul Haggis touches this movie through and through with his directorial and writerly expertise, but the movie runs a bit too long without enough wind.

Grade: A-


5. Feast of Love

Mixing sex, lust, love, comedy and tragedy, this Shakespearean story has heart and wit without being too lovey-dovey. It is raw in it's vision of love and mostly real. However, no performances stick out from the crowd - everyone is good but no one is great - and there's just something about how many women Greg Kinnear's character naively falls for that is bothersome for his timid character.

Grade: B


6. Michael Clayton

With Oscar-thriving roles played by George Clooney, Tilda Swinton & Tom Wilkinson, this semi-psychological, law thriller is beautifully made, craftily conceived, and sparks much excitement, but the plot seemed to wrap itself and became predictably automatic. It was bittersweet, shocking yet habitual.

Grade: B

7. Into the Wild

Finally, a movie that inspires. Very few films hold this in their hearts. Too many strive for it, but don't quite hit home. Sean Penn's directorial debut was a driven, intellectual, funny, tragic story about a young man who wanted to be like his peers: Thoreau, Pasternak, and Kerouac to name a few. It's a fresh, crisp piece of cinematic art and is by far 2007's best movie so far.

Grade: A+

8. Across the Universe

Though "Across the Universe" has the best trailer ever, I wish I would've stuck to watching it over and over again. Julie Taymor's over-the-top Beatlesmania musical on dope jumps far over the bar of the unusual, the mixed-up and the contorted. With unnecessary characters, one of the weakest plots, and a love that is sure to last a lifetime (or at least until the 60s are over), Taymor fails to deliver, but her touch is just too original to hate. She gets props for trying, and trying with flair.

Grade: C

9. Saw IV

Basically, in short, it was a horrible idea to go past three "Saw's." I loved the third installment, but this one was fun to watch, but overlapped itself and all of the other films, making it hard for Einstein to wrap his mind around - even before his head got smashed to bits by two giant blocks of ice!

Grade: D+

10. Hotel Chevalier/The Darjeeling Limited

There's something about Wes Anderson. His style is so low key. "The Darjeeling Limited" follows three brothers (Owen Wilson, Adrien Brody, and Jason Schwartzman) in search of finding themselves on a trip through India. The film was pleasantly funny, sad, and original. It wasn't the best of the best, but there isn't much to criticize. A great time in the theater - plus Natalie Portman's in both the short film & the feature!

Grade: A

11. Beowulf

Though some of the sequences and dialogue are so awkward (especially every line Robin Wright Penn and John Malkovich delivers), director Robert Zemeckis presents an action-filled adventure that's both visually stunning and has a level of sensuality - probably brought by the serpentine Angelina Jolie as Grendel's hot mommy. I would have loved to see it in an IMAX, though.

Grade: B

12. Lions for Lambs

Here's a film that has the idea, has the dialogue, and the themes needed for a cinematic political debate, but doesn't have enough action. Of course it's lined with great actors (Meryl Streep, Robert Redford, & Tom Cruise - I guess he's "great"), but "Lions for Lambs" feels more like a play than a movie. The scenes between Cruise & Streep/Redford & Andrew Garfield are great and meaningful and fun to listen to, but can be done with our eyes closed with the same effect. Nothing visual happens. Now, Redford (also director) does back this stage-like sequences with war scenes, which are perfectly placed, but the other half of the film falls short of being cinematic. Sorry, Robbie. Try again next time.

Grade: C+

Halloween (2007)

Halloween (2007)

Starring Tyler Mane, Daeg Faerch, Sheri Moon Zombie, Scout Taylor-Compton, Malcolm McDowell & Danielle Harris

Seeing the previews to Rob Zombie's remake of 1978's horror classic "Halloween" (originally directed by John Carpenter), it was difficult to tell if Zombie's version, bearing the same title, would analyze the past of the freakish murder Michael Myers, or if it was indeed a remake of the original. To my excitement, Zombie's version gives us both, and in doing this, he gives us a double-feature.

The first half of the movie plays out by giving Myers motive, feeling, and personality. To some, this may go against everything the madman stands for: silence, stalking, and mystery. However, the original leaves out motive, something that drives stories and makes for compelling twists and turns - all of which Zombie inserts. The pre-teen version of Myers, played by Daeg Faerch (one of the top creepiest kids ever), has a ton of problems. His dad's a bastard, his mom's (Sheri Moon Zombie) a stripper, his older sister doesn't give a damn, and he's constantly tantalized by school bullies. Apart from his slaughtering helpless animals and other demonic issues, Myers finds safety in his baby sister, Boo. (A possible allusion to Harper Lee's "To Kill a Mockingbird"). Evil lets loose on Halloween and kiddo Myers lets that butcher knife fly. He kills the bully, his dad, his older sister (who is reported to have been stabbed 17 times, the same number of times Tom Robinson was shot in "Mockingbird"), and her boyfriend. After being put into a mental institution and killing a nurse with a fork, Myer's mommy kills herself and the kid never talks again.

The pre-Halloween story lasts for near half of the movie and makes the film more about Michael Myers than about the original's heroine, Laurie Strode. When Myers breaks out of the asylum, and after killing his janitor buddy who lovingly calls the brute "Mickey," we enter the original 1978 plot - except there's a twist... and motive. Myers isn't just killing people for no reason at all - which, I admit, takes away from the original's unknowing terror - but he's out for someone in particular. He's kid sister, Boo. And he finds her alright. Zombie takes a leap by creating a subplot of Laurie Strode, played by spunky Scout Taylor-Compton ("Mockingbird" narrator!), as the teen version of Boo. After the bloodbath at the Myer's house, Baby Boo was put up for adoption and taking in by the Strodes.

Michael has a motive. He wants his baby sister back. But with an Oedipal twist and an intense climax that parallels and swerves from the original's "house-to-house" case scenes, Laurie doesn't understand that Mickey just wants to be loved. So he tries to kill her as well.

Zombie shows what a true mastermind can do to a perfectly classic film. He makes it his own, and in doing so, he makes it a great, fun, terrifying gore-fest. He even creates an interesting symbolic meaning and history to Myers' infamous mask-wearing. I just don't get why the hell it wasn't released ON Halloween!

Grade: A-

Movies of the Summer; Top 5 & Worst 5 Flicks of 2007 (So Far)

1. Spiderman 3 - D+
2. Vacancy - C+
3. Shrek the Third - C+
4. 28 Weeks Later - C+
5. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - D
6. Bug - A
7. Knocked Up - A-
8. Mr. Brooks - C
9. Hostel: Part II - D+
10. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer - D+
11. 1408 - D-
12. A Mighty Heart - C
13. Ratatouille - A
14. License to Wed - D+
15. Captivity - F
16. Transformers - B-
17. Hairspray - B+
18. Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix - A-
19. Sicko - B+
20. The Simpsons Movie - B
21. The Bourne Ultimatum - B+
22. Superbad - A
23. Becoming Jane - C


Before Oscar season (a.k.a. Fall) begins, it's important to look at some of the movies that are the best of 2007 as of now, especially since they probably won't be recognized later on.

The BEST

5. Ratatouille

4. Alpha Dog

3. Superbad

2. Grindhouse

1. Bug


THE WORST 5

Bad: "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End"

Really Bad: "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer"

Totally Horrible and BORING: "Zodiac"

Nearly the Worst: "1408"

Insanely the Worst Movie EVER: "Captivity"

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint & Ralph Finnes

In Harry's fifth year, he finds that Hogwarts quickly changes into something he didn't expect. Controlled by the Ministry of Magic, and particularly the newly appointed High Inquisitor, Professor Dolores Umbridge (Imelda Staunton), a sweet-faced, spine-tingling, toad of a woman that if you've read the immensity of the 870 page book, you'd know that just at the sight of her name you want to resort of gauging your eyes out. Harry is also dealing with unhinged dementors, girl trouble, Dumbledore's obvious disregardance of Harry, news of the Order of the Phoenix, and the memory of last year's death of Cedric Diggory and Lord Voldemort's return to the Wizarding world.

"The Order of the Phoenix" as a novel, is long, indulging, tedious, and only worth reading about half of the 870 timeless pages. It is full of nonsensical details that neither heighten the book nor are important to the main plot. It is by far the worst written and edited book of the series. However, that does not go for the film. In the adaptation, director David Yates (who will be returning for "The Half-Blood Prince" in 2008) brings us Harry's world as we have read it in the book. It deals with Harry's mental situation - being tormented by his natural surroundings at school and with the impression Voldemort has left him with, not to mention dreaming exactly as Voldemort sees. With breath-taking scenes and excellent filming, "The Order of the Phoenix" looks and is the best film of the Harry Potter series thus far.

Not only is the directing better in the fifth movie, but the acting is incredibly enjoyable and so much better. Radcliffe, Watson and Grint are finally discovering their characters, as they have shown awkwardness and ignorance in the past - save Grint who's humor has always been fun to watch. "The Order of the Phoenix" also brings an exceptional supporting cast. Actors such as Alan Rickman as Snape, Maggie Smith as McGonagall, Emma Thompson as Trelawney, and of course Ralph Finnes as Lord Voldemort are having loads of fun with their characters, while fresh roles such as Umbridge played superbly by Imelda Staunton, Helena Bonham Carter as Bellatrix Lestrange, and Evanna Lynch as the strange Luna Lovegood add a sense of superiority to the film. But still, after three movies filmed with Michael Gamdon as Dumbledore, the headmaster is still not adapted as he should be. The late Richard Harris, who appeared in "The Sorcerer's Stone" and "The Chamber of Secrets" before passing away, captured Dumbledore's age and power, whereas Gamdon appreciates only his wizarding caliber and brings an unneeded brutality to the headmaster.

Like the fourth film, "The Goblet of Fire," which is an exceptional book but a dimwitted swoosh of a movie, "The Order of the Phoenix" does not stick to the book as close as the first three films - which isn't always a bad thing. "The Goblet of Fire's" demise was its lack of exciting flair. But the current film has so much flair and creativity that it is delightfully overwhelming. Screenwriter Michael Goldenberg, in his first "Potter" movie, fixes what J.K. Rowling failed to do in the book, by simplifying complicated, inessential material, arranging the storyline to a generally easy-to-follow mode, and also threw in a few minor details of dialogue that gave readers a chance to know the back story of the scene without taking away from the movie's main drive. Usually, Rowling has an ability to make the book better than the movie, however, in the case of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix," it is certainly not the case.

Grade - A-

Hairspray

Hairspray

Starring Nikki Blonsky, John Travolta, Michelle Pfeiffer, Amanda Bynes, Zac Efron, Queen Latifah, Brittany Snow & Christopher Walken

When pudgy, happily young Tracy Turnbald (Nikki Blonsky) sings of her yearning to be on the hit TV dance show hosted by Corny Collins (James Marsden), "Hairspray" is on. Set in a 1962 Baltimore where every girl's hair exceeds the height of their boyfriend's head, Turnbald is determined to get on the show, dance her heart out, and win the heart of the boy of her dreams, Link Larkin (Zac Efron). Sidekicked by her corky pal Penny Pingleton (Amanda Bynes), Tracy skips school one day to try out, but quickly rejected by the evil, stepmother-esque Velma Von Tussle, played devilishly by the new and improved Michelle Pfeiffer. What seems to be a story of a silly girl's dreams turns into a battle of moral and racial prejudices. As the "negro night" of the dance show is canceled, Tracy bans with her friends and with the black community to bring justice to the television station.

With such a tremendous all-star cast, "Hairspray" has no trouble at all pulling in loads of expertise; from new-comers like Blonsky, Efron and Bynes to veterans like Pfeiffer, John Travolta as Tracy's dismaying mother, and Christopher Walken as Tracy's loopy dad the film is highly qualified in the field of acting. Of course Queen Latifah as Motormouth Maybelle acted no different than in most of her other roles, but other than that it was a great and fun cast.

"Hairspray" also has a great way of turning the table on what's to be expected in what seems to be a sugar-coated musical. The message of integrating the black dancers with the white is both beautiful and profound. Storyline conflicts and resolutions are subtle and nicely placed, lined with great music that will have your foot tapping against the seat in front of you.

But recollecting the film, it's hard to see it as being a great film. When thinking of "Dreamgirls," though it lacked in many areas of song placement and plot, the cinematography was stunning, refined, and dead-on. In "Hairspray" it was like watching a Disney Channel movie. With poor angles and not a whole lot of movement which collided badly with the lot of dancing around streets and stages, the film looks, feels and acts poorly, though the movie as it is is fun and very entertaining.

Grade: B+

Transformers

Transformers

Starring Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Rachael Taylor & Jon Voight

When seeing trailers for "Underdog," it's clear that some classic cartoons should stay just that. Yet, the way Michael Bay brings "Transformers" to the big screen (and to real life) is both fun to watch and distracting at times.

Shia LaBeouf is Sam Witwicky, a geeky sort of teen who needs enough money to buy a brand new car, and once he does, he gets the chick (Megan Fox). Sam and Mikalea are forced - and as time will tell - destined into a worldly battle against good and evil robots. These robots, of course, can take the form of anything mechanical and transform into their original state at will.

One step away from the original "Transformer's" cartoon is that humans play a large role in the film - more than half of it - whereas the cartoon focused on the doings of the Transformers. This is not a flaw of the movie at all. As the movie directs itself to the Transformers, it is odd and bizarre the way they speak and talk, which is probably humorous to children and idiots, but is equivocal to others. The humans are much more enjoyable, particularly new-comer bombshells Megan Fox and Aussie star Rachael Taylor who plays the very intelligent, sexy, nerdy computer freak. LaBeouf, once again, shows that a blockbuster hit can't take down his love for acting. His charisma resonates off the screen as he brings humor and wit to his character.

Not only is LaBeouf highly entertaining, but the special effects are out of this world. Every detail of the robots transformations can be seen and Bay brings all he knows and failed to do in movies like "The Island" to "Transformers." Honestly, the special effects should be the top contender for special effects for next year's Oscars.

Grade: B-

Captivity

Captivity
Starrnig Elisha Cuthbert & Daniel Gillies

"Captivity" is one of those movies that, when you exit the theatre and begin to make your way to your car, you jump, with an extended arm pointing to the night sky, and scream: "THAT WAS THE BEST MOVIE EVER!"

Jennifer, a wannabe Paris Hilton model, played extraordinarily by Elisha Cuthbert, one of the most talented actresses in Hollywood, carries her little doggy wherever she goes, poses deliciously for various modeling jobs, and has her face on every billboard in America. She's famous and can't get enough of it. Her dog even ventures to the club with her! But at the club, he doggy's owner goes missing. Kidnapped and kept captive in an underground room, Jennifer is forced to mingle with death - and death is a hooded man who makes people die.

Not only is the plot incredibly original and free from all forms of copycat scenes, but the horror is truly spine-chilling. The whole audience screamed in pure fear when the masked kidnapper/murderer ties Cuthbert's character up to a dentist chair, puts a few body parts into a smoothie blender, adds a cup or two of crimson blood, and grinds it to a refreshing gulp of sick, twisted barbarity. Jennifer must drink this bloodshake, which is the most harrowing scene known to the American silver screen.

With unpredictable plot twists that grind your insides to a pulp and a tremendous build-up to a possible heart-attack climax, "Captivity" never lets you go and always makes you want more. And more. If you're into horror flicks, this is surely the movie for you. Oh, and to all those who are into romances, "Captivity" has a wonderfully loving scene in which Jennifer discovers that there is another person held captive. There is a painting of Jennifer in her room above her bed, but she did not know that on the other side of the glass is Daniel Gillies as Gary. Gary scrapes away paint on his side of a window and asks the model, "Who are you?" This is totally believable considering that the paint is on both sides of the glass and that when he scratches from his side, it appears on hers. Amazing. Truly amazing.

Cuthbert's performance is one for the century and is surely the top contender for an Oscar, and the film is not only the scariest and most terrifying movie experience I have ever had in a cinema, but is also probably the best movie I have ever seen in my entire life.

Grade: A+

NOTE: This review was written on opposite day. Everything above is the opposite of what is truly meant. The following is the real review of the film.

Captivity

Starring Elisha Cuthbert and Daniel Gillies

"CAPTIVITY" IS THE WORST MOVIE EVER! WORSE THAN "CATWOMAN" - NO JOKE.

Grade: F

License to Wed

License to Wed
Starring Robin Williams, John Krasinski & Mandy Moore

For the past several years, Robin Williams has been in a downward spiral in his career as a legendary Hollywood actor. In "License to Wed," his career continues to plummet as he makes a bad script about a priest (who is more like a secret agent) that must force the rules of marriage upon the happily engaged couple of Sadie (Mandy Moore) and Ben (John Krasinski). Williams is hardly funny and stoops to an all-time low with the romantic comedy. As for the soon-to-be Mr. and Mrs., Moore and Krasinski excel in their acting and comedy above Williams, but Moore is a bit of a downer. She doesn't bring her character to life but she doesn't kill her either. The gold in "License to Wed" is Krasinski. Known for "The Jim Face" on NBC's hit series "The Office," Krasinski brings his dry humor, wit, charm and ability to make any bad line great to "License to Wed." Though this isn't enough to make it a great film, and the ending completely ruins it... I mean destroys this movie. Once again, another chick flick down the toilet.

Grade: D+

Ratatouille

Ratatouille
Voiced by Patton Oswalt, Lou Romano, Peter O'Toole, Ian Holm & Janeane Garofalo

In "Ratatouille" (pronounced rata-too-ee), we are introduced to Remy, voiced by Patton Oswalt. Remy is a rat. But not just an ordinary, garbage-theiving, will-eat-anything rat. Remy has a keen sense of smell. This may seem useless for a rat, but not for Remy: he detects poisonous food, or at least he is forced to by his rat-proud father. Like a rat, Remy loves food, but not the garbage his pals eat - he wants cuisine and top cheeses and things that make his tiny belly growl with hunger. He can read too. He reads Chef Gusteau's Anyone Can Cook book, and believes that he too can cook... if he were only a little bit bigger. One day, as he's scrounging up some rosemary and freshly plucked mushrooms, Remy sees on an old woman's television that Gusteau, his true chef hero, has died. Then the old woman finds Remy and, with a shotgun, unleashes all of Remy's ratty friends. He is separated from his family and must begin a life alone in the beautiful city of Paris.

As a Pixar animation, "Ratatouille" is exceptionally above anything they have created previously. It is the only Pixar film to bring together the human world with the world of the unknown successfully and passionately. Remy meets a dish dog, Linguini (Lou Romano), who works at Gusteau's restaurant, and they discover a way to make food together - by the rat pulling Linguini's hair, thus controlling every move he makes.

There are two fun love stories in between, with Linguini and the talented and very bossy Chef Colette (Jeneane Garofalo), and with Remy the rat and his love for food. But when Remy and Linguini make an amazing soup by accident, the people of Paris - and the food critics - are all coming back to Gusteau's. With perfect plot complications like this and many others, "Ratatouille" feels like a great PG-13 movie, but plays like it's made for the kids.

But unlike it's predecessors (Toy Story 1 & 2, A Bug's Life, Monster's Inc., Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, and Cars), "Ratatouille" is not the best Pixar for children, for much of its dialogue consist of ingredients and criticism - something that bored most of the kids in the theatre but amazed the adults. Yet, this film is nearly the best Pixar installment yet.

Grade: A

A Mighty Heart

A Mighty Heart

Starring Angelina Jolie, Dan Futterman & Archie Panjabi

With a title such as "A Mighty Heart," one might expect a film with great... heart. However, this is not the case entirely for Michael Winterbottom's wishful biography about the separation of the Pearl family. When Daniel Pearl (Dan Futterman) searches through the streets of Karachi for an interview with one of the most dangerous terrorists on the planet - and this is shown to us near the end of the film with his horrible execution. The movie is about Mariane's struggle and fight to find her Danny and to bring him back home.

Jolie beholds one of her strongest performances, but not one to be over the top about. She has one good scene in which she falls apart in her bedroom over the news of Danny's beheading. This scene is both moving and enticing, but the rest of the movie drags on. Jolie's character runs full circle about five times for about an hour of the film in which her, her friends, and government officials target certain people to be involved in Danny's capture. The plot suffers greatly here, throwing us name after name and never grabbing our attention. Mariane's friend, Asra (Archie Panjabi), is very likable for her intelligence and determination to help her torn friend, but again, it's not enough to make the film entertaining.

The background meaning behind "A Mighty Heart" is somewhat present, but the attempt to bring this to life failed.

Grade: C